


Forgive Me?

by stardustandangels



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, Rain, tons of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 23:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5646442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustandangels/pseuds/stardustandangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam had hurt Y/N by being an absolute asshole to her. Now he suddenly is in her home town and wants to apologize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive Me?

You sat in a quiet corner of your university's library and were researching the political backgrounds of the book you currently restored. Restoring old books was one of your passions that you still got to do on a daily basis and you were far from getting bored by your day job. Book restorer by day, hunter by night. Right now you were reading in a big, fairly old register to determine where the book was first commissioned. It was a dull work, but unfortunately necessary. Your eyes skimmed the pages quickly, but not too fast to miss something important. 

You were so absorbed in your work that you did not realize that someone had come up to your table. You jumped at the sound of a familiar voice. "Do you still need that one?"

You looked up slowly, not wanting to see what you expected to be seeing. Your gaze met Sam, standing in front of your table. You arched an eyebrow, unwilling to answer him right away.

"No, you can have it." You answered after a short pause and then looked down again to continue your reading matter. The interaction was over for you now.

 

After reading several pages you looked up again just to find Sam still standing in the same place as before. He hadn't even moved one centimeter.

"What?" You asked harshly, not quite able to conceal the annoyance in your voice. 

 

You didn’t know why he just decided to show up at your workplace. Sam and you haven't had any contact since your fight a few months ago. He had told you that you were stubborn and not of any help at all and just confusing the facts, when you were just trying to open up a new perspective for him. After he was finished hurling all these insults at you, Sam stormed out of the library. You had holed up in your room after that, deciding that you needed to get out. You had taken a car from the garage and drove back to your home town shortly after the incident. When there was anything that you wanted to avoid it was Sam, but it was not like you were hiding either. The only reason you had been sad to leave was Dean, he had always been a good friend to you and your blossoming romantic feelings had been shattered instantly. After you left, Dean had checked up on you every once and again, sometimes with a research question and you had helped him the best you could. But the phone calls became less and less frequent.

 

And now Sam was here. In your home town. At the place where you worked.

"Y/N -" he started, but you interrupted him. 

"If you are here to ask for my help -, this is not the time. I have work to do. So would you please go?"

"I -" You didn't let him finish and just raised you hand to dismiss him. You were still pissed at him and you didn’t want to deal with the whole emotional mess, you were sure that came with Sam’s visit.

You didn't bother checking that Sam really had left, you simply continued to read the register and occasionally took your time to complete notes. You completely forgot the time and you only registered how late it was when it started getting dark outside. You put the books away and packed your bag. 

 

As you stepped out of the building it was raining heavily. Again. You pulled the hood of your jacket over your head and turned to go to the next bus stop as you felt a slight touch on your shoulder. It was mostly just instincts that you instantly spun around. You aimed for the temple, because that’s one of the places where it hurt most but your fist met a solid jaw bone and your knuckles ached from the impact. 

"Whoa. Y/N." Sam said holding his jaw. "You're not bad. Hell of a punch."

"I'm sorry, Sam. Reflexes, sorry. How bad is it? I didn't know it was you."

"I'm fine. Don't worry." Sam assured you.

"You sure?" You asked, growing more and more suspicious by the minute.

"Yeah."

 

"So why are you here, Sam?" You asked.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Why?"

"Uhm. Could we go someplace where it's not raining? Please?" Sam asked, avoiding a direct answer to your question. So this was going to be a longer talk. 

"Okay. Well, then... Let's go." You turned around and started walking in another direction. You turned around to see if Sam is following you. He was still standing near the bus stop You were heading for earlier.

 

"Are you coming or not?" You shouted. At the sound of your voice he turned around and started walking towards you, his shoulders hunched to keep the rain away. You pulled an umbrella out of your bag and gave it to Sam. "Here. Take it or you will be completely soaked by the time we reach the next café." You ordered.

"Thanks." The two of you walked quickly and in almost complete silence. You could tell Sam was kind of nervous what did not exactly make you feel any better. _What was he planning on talking to you about? Did something happen to Dean?_

"Here we are." You stopped in front of a small café after a not-too-long time. "Is that okay for you?"

"Sure. Let's get inside, it's quite uncomfortable outside." Sam's comment made you smile.

You sat down at a small table by the window, Sam ordered a coffee and you ordered tea. "Sometimes you're so British, you fit the cliché perfectly." 

"You know I'm not actually British?" You asked jokingly.

"Wow. I'd never thought of that." He looked at you, a playful smile on his lips. He also looked kind of awed by _you?_

"Don't look so impressed, Sam. You're making me uncomfortable."

"Don't be." He said. The waitress brought our orders to the table and smiled at Sam. "If you need anything, I'll be right over there. Enjoy your coffee." She said staring at Sam, clearly flirting with him. You looked at your cup in deep concentration, trying to ignore the awkward feeling in your guts. Sam also went quiet as the waitress left.

 

I sighed and then took a deep breath. "You never answered my question. Why did you want to talk to me?"

~~~~~

 

You twisted a curl of your hair that had fallen out of your ponytail around your finger and waited.

"Y/N." You looked up again. Sam looked as uncomfortable as you felt. "I wanted to apologize. We haven't spoken in a long time after I told you that you were not welcome anymore and that I did not need your help. I was upset and angry. At that time I wanted to hurt you. After you were gone I felt bad, but I couldn't work up the courage to apologize. ... I am very sorry." 

You nodded trying to hold back the tears. So now he was here, apologizing. _Why did he have to put you through that, too? Wasn’t everything else not enough?_

"At first I thought everything was going to be okay, because you were still talking to Dean. But then you two stopped talking, too and I knew that this was my fault."

"Sam. I was angry. Not at Dean. We stopped talking because I asked him to. I explained that I had to manage your life here and could not also research supernatural stuff for you when it wasn't even required and you could manage perfectly on your own. He accepted that and I was grateful for it."

"I didn't know that. I don't want to bother you." He looked at you, honestly concerned. "I didn't want to upset you."

"You know why I am upset? I did not have to help you back then. I have a real job here, I did this in my free-time. You and Dean approached me and asked me for my help. And I was happy to help. Because that is who I am." You paused and inhaled deeply. "And then you come along, turn and twist everything. You made it look like everything was my fault. You made me think less of myself." Your voice cracked and you felt the first tear rolling down your cheek. "I always thought we did make a good team." Now, you couldn't stop your tears from falling. "I was devastated, you know?"

Sam looked you and you could swear that you saw guilt flashing through his eyes. You were so embarrassed to cry in front of so many people, so you placed a bill on the table and left the café abruptly. You walked away quickly. Away from the café, away from Sam. 

 

You were almost running when somebody grabbed your hand and pulled you into a tight hug. Sam. He pulled your head to his chest and put his arm around your back and stroked your hair lightly.

"I am sorry I hurt you, Y/N. I'm so sorry. I thought we were a great team, you always managed to remind me to also look at the bigger picture. And when I was stuck you could always provide another point of view. You helped me. A lot. I am so, so sorry."

"Yeah, you already said that." You said, your voice still weak after your outburst in the café.

"I mean it. Do you think you can forgive me?"

“One day, maybe.” But your slight nod indicated that you’d already forgiven him. Sam somehow caught up on that and let out a small, relieved breath.

~~~~~

 

What was wrong with you? Normally you were not one to get this emotional so easily fast. Once you calmed down a little you realized that it was still raining and Sam and you were both soaked, because neither of you had bothered with rain-proofing yourselves. "Better go somewhere a little less wet?" You asked Sam and he nodded. As we got to your apartment you were both shivering.

"Would you like a cup of tea, coffee, hot chocolate?" I asked as I stepped inside, shedding my jacket.

"Tea?" Sam said mockingly.

"Tea it is!" You said a little too enthusiastic for the current situation, it was just tea for God’s sake. Calm yourself down. 

"Thanks." Sam smiled and I put the kettle on.

"Okay, I'm going to look for some dry clothes for you. Otherwise you're gonna catch a cold." You stormed off to your bedroom. You hoped that you could find some clothes that would at least kind of fit Sam. In the depth of your closet you finally managed to dig up a t-shirt, a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants that originally belonged to your "little" brother.

"Here. I hope that this fits, at least it's not soaking wet." Sam looked at you in confusion as you tossed him the clothes, but still managed to catch them.

"They are my brother's." You explained as you saw Sam’s horrified expression. "Now go change, take a shower, whatever you like." You pointed to the bathroom. "Towels are in the shelf next to the door." You shouted after he already closed the bathroom door.

 

You sat on your couch reading a book and drinking tea. But you couldn't quite concentrate on reading because you were still processing all the things that happened today. Your thoughts were drifting away to your memories with the Winchesters, the day you met them, all the time you spent in the library of their bunker researching. "Y/N? Where can I put all my wet clothes so they can dry?" your thoughts were interrupted by Sam's voice. He was just wearing the hoodie and the pants, the t-shirt in his hands. “This one doesn’t fit and I really don’t want to rip it.” He smiled cheekily at his mental image and imagined your reaction to him in a ripped t-shirt.

"I'll put them in the dryer." You saw the expression on his face and you didn’t really want to know what exactly he was thinking right now.

"Would you mind if I quickly check up on Dean?" Sam asked you, moving his phone from one hand into the other. You smiled. What an adorable dork. "Not at all. Go ahead."

"So, how's Dean?" You asked Sam, genuinely interested, as he got back into your living room. "Fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. But I think he's relieved that we are back on good terms."

"Is that so?" Sam nodded and smiled at you. He was looking kind of ... happy?

"Yeah. He was really angry at me and kept bugging me constantly."

"Glad to hear that. It sounds like him." You smiled at Sam. It seemed like Sam had lightened your mood that you were almost constantly smiling now.

~~~~~

 

Your clock rang at 5:30 in the morning. That was definitely too early to get up. You managed to get out of your bed and made your way to the kitchen, still half asleep. 

You almost had a heart attack as you saw Sam sprawled out over the couch. You tried to make breakfast from the few leftovers and the sparse ingredients that you managed to find in one of your kitchen cabinets. You really didn’t spend much time in your flat.

 

When Sam got ready to leave he asked you if you could be friends again. You weren’t quite so sure if you could manage a friendship with Sam. He had hurt you deeply and then there was the unresolved issue with your not-so-little crush on the guy. You weren’t sure if you could handle the rejection a second time. 

“If you want to be colleagues, let’s be colleagues. But if you want to be friends –“ You were interrupted by Sam’s lips being pressed lightly to yours. He had put one hand on the back of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss.

Your eyes went wide. _Well, that was new. Where did that just come from?_

“There is one more thing I wanted to tell you, Y/N. No, I don’t want to be friends with you, at least I don’t want to be just friends.” 

~~~~~

 

“I knew I was falling for you from the very first moment I met you. I couldn’t let that happen. Everyone I’ve ever loved, everyone I’ve ever cared for, was ripped from my life. Every girl I’ve been with so far has died. Because of me.” Sam took in a deep breath. “I couldn’t let that happen to you, too. So I tried to not fall for you, to not let you get hurt. And I failed miserably. I’m in love with you and I’m sorry I took that out on you. This is why I was so hostile towards you.”

“Oh, you weren’t hostile, Sam. What you were was just rude, nothing else.” You put an edge to your tone and Sam immediately looked down. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah. You should be. And you should definitely better yourself.” Your voice was softer now. “After that love confession from your part, I’m going to have to tell you that you won’t get rid of me that easily. I’ve been falling for you, too, Sam. I plan on hanging on to you. As long as possible. But you will have to better yourself. I’m not having this again.” You were smiling now and you were sure that Sam had picked up on your playful tone. You tried to play your confession down, but the truth was that you were already completely, irrevocably in love with him. He looked back up at you and his eyes locked with yours. “I will.” His voice was earnest and you let yourself believe him. He brought his hand to your cheek and caressed your cheekbone lightly. “I will.” Then his lips were back on yours and he was kissing you. You had to mentally kick yourself to respond to him. It just felt so good, that you would have him kissing you endlessly. It was chaste at first, just lips moving against each other, but then there was more passion in it. Sam licked his way into your mouth and you granted him entrance happily. Your tongues tangled with each other and you wanted nothing more to keep kissing him when you had to pull away to catch your breath. 

“That was amazing. We should do that more often.” With his words your lips were back on his, surprising him. One kiss melted into the next one, until you were unable to say how many kisses you had exchanged.

 

 “Will you come back to the bunker, eventually?” Sam asked, his eyes so full of hope that it made your chest hurt. “What did you manage to get wrong this time?” You asked, avoiding to answer the question without further information. 

“We’re actually in some deep shit.” 

You smiled at his comment. “That’s not really news to me.” You winked at Sam and his eyes grew wider. "I think, I’ll come. I can’t wait to see the mess you’ve gotten yourself into. Can’t you two stay out of trouble for a month? You're lucky that I'm a very curious person." With that you kissed him again. Now that you’ve gotten a taste of Sam, you couldn’t get enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me kudos and comment to tell me what you think!


End file.
